Hello all...
Lest you spend your precious summer moments checking in on my little page here...haha! I decided a couple of months ago that I would "officially" stop writing here. For this season, the stories I want to listen to and tell are best heard, spoken and lived in my family, neighborhood, and work place. With precious little time to spare (and no babies or cross-country road trips on the horizon!), I've decided I only have energy and time to pour my heart out there. Give me a holler over email, fb, or phone though, and by all means stop by if you find yourself in southern Cal :). Thanks for reading and your support and encouragement over the years I've deposited my thoughts here...
Love,
Joanna
Showing posts with label Looking ahead. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Looking ahead. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Day 4: On the road again...
Bar Harbor, Maine
I'm re-surfacing from the craziness of life to try and journal another summer road trip... Our lives are in the midst of another big transition - a new job for the beloved Professor to whom I am married is taking us from my newly beloved East coast and back to the very neighborhood in which I grew up on the West coast. Long stories, but after months and months of knowing and planning, we left Baltimore four days ago, and are trekking across the country slowly with bits of vacation, friends, and family scattered throughout.
It's a move that was initially kind of shocking, even though we knew it was a slim possibility even before we arrived in Maryland last summer. In fact, the thought of moving back "home" felt a bit like a mega-letdown after I fled CA so many years ago! However, the job was offered, the timing seems good (especially for a fledgling prof and his full nest of school-age children), we will have the help of family near by, and so here we go!
Amidst all of the planning and spending of the move, I'm coming to grips with the fact that stuff is, well, just stuff. Giving away stuff, finding a new place to live (always full of give-and-take), worrying about the accounting of it all. Stuff is just stuff, money is just money. It's all going to be gone someday anyway, so why waste TOO much time stressing about it, eh? My natural inclination to do just the opposite of that, but maybe I'm growing a bit older and wiser by year.
Oh, and then besides stuff there are the people. If there is one thing that is on my mind as we said goodbye to a few dear friends in Maryland and started a few weeks of living in a van plus 200 sq. ft of nightly living space (which I have an odd affection for most days), it's that the people are really the ones that get you through, and that you can't live without, and that you will be living with and needing forever! Again, a bit against my natural independent instincts, but maybe I'm learning...
Anyhow, now that I've explained how we aren't in Baltimore anymore, I can move on to journaling the adventures here and there along our trip and then "on living in the OC".
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Enjoying the kids, at 3 or 20.
Once upon a time, I was 21, and John was 25. We got married. We lived in a house made of badgers and cheese in Wisconsin. Our church was tiny, so we chose between friends who were 10 years younger or 10 years older (with the one exception - love you Sue!!). We often chose in favor of the younger, and headed up a little junior high youth group for a couple of years. John had actually lived with some of them since they were tiny. The boys were still pretty young, young enough that I could hold my own in frisbee golf, football, tag, and even threw one in the snow. It was great fun.
Now upon a time, I'm 29 and John is 33. Our new friends are around our age and we all have kids 6 and under. I've lost touch with middle and high school and young college kids. I think it will be great when my kids can actually take bike rides and play sports with me.
We visited those same kids (and their parents of course!) last week. They're all around 20, six feet tall men that would now scoff at a sporting competition with puny ME! Their kid brothers and sisters now played with my own kids, like doting older cousins.
Hanging out around all those grown up kids and their (smart!) parents was absolutely awesome, a total change of pace for us. The people made the vacation.
I was reminded that behind the cool, or gruff, or punk, or whatever exterior, these "kids" are really fun to hang out with, interesting to talk to. Hours of investment in their young lives has kept them surprisingly easy to reconnect with now.
It was exciting to think about our own four kids growing into such fascinating young adults. A glimpse of the craziness of the house in 10 or so years!
People always tell me that the harder parenting issues come up later. These parents and kids have to discuss parties, college, military, boyfriends, media time, cars, it's some crazy big stuff! Definitely bigger than the bedtimes and vegetable fights we wage now, I almost had to laugh at how worked up I get over this little stuff.
And what to do together as a family? It's easy now - zoo, park, pool, they all get unanimous cheers. Sitting down for dinner together with _everyone_ is downright simple now. The agreement, never mind the regular time, shrinks when they are around 20! Never mind dragging an 11-year-old along to the playground with the younger siblings.
I've come back home with a huge new appreciation for our young kids. A renewed enjoyment of the older kids, a realism and excitement about where mine are headed. And a new admiration for their parents, especially those in the trenches of helping their kids out the door to the big, wide world.
Figured I'd better write my thoughts down quickly, before I take yet another playground trip for granted or forget to value the college kids, friends, parents, and grandparents who I have in my life. Wouldn't you know, I don't have a single picture from the entire week of a kid anywhere near 20!
Love them now, love them when they grow up!
Four generations of my family.
Can you tell who is already getting too old for the zoo?
Hanging out with the little brothers of the "grown up" kids.
Now upon a time, I'm 29 and John is 33. Our new friends are around our age and we all have kids 6 and under. I've lost touch with middle and high school and young college kids. I think it will be great when my kids can actually take bike rides and play sports with me.
We visited those same kids (and their parents of course!) last week. They're all around 20, six feet tall men that would now scoff at a sporting competition with puny ME! Their kid brothers and sisters now played with my own kids, like doting older cousins.
Hanging out around all those grown up kids and their (smart!) parents was absolutely awesome, a total change of pace for us. The people made the vacation.
I was reminded that behind the cool, or gruff, or punk, or whatever exterior, these "kids" are really fun to hang out with, interesting to talk to. Hours of investment in their young lives has kept them surprisingly easy to reconnect with now.
It was exciting to think about our own four kids growing into such fascinating young adults. A glimpse of the craziness of the house in 10 or so years!
People always tell me that the harder parenting issues come up later. These parents and kids have to discuss parties, college, military, boyfriends, media time, cars, it's some crazy big stuff! Definitely bigger than the bedtimes and vegetable fights we wage now, I almost had to laugh at how worked up I get over this little stuff.
And what to do together as a family? It's easy now - zoo, park, pool, they all get unanimous cheers. Sitting down for dinner together with _everyone_ is downright simple now. The agreement, never mind the regular time, shrinks when they are around 20! Never mind dragging an 11-year-old along to the playground with the younger siblings.
I've come back home with a huge new appreciation for our young kids. A renewed enjoyment of the older kids, a realism and excitement about where mine are headed. And a new admiration for their parents, especially those in the trenches of helping their kids out the door to the big, wide world.
Figured I'd better write my thoughts down quickly, before I take yet another playground trip for granted or forget to value the college kids, friends, parents, and grandparents who I have in my life. Wouldn't you know, I don't have a single picture from the entire week of a kid anywhere near 20!
Love them now, love them when they grow up!
Four generations of my family.
Can you tell who is already getting too old for the zoo?
Hanging out with the little brothers of the "grown up" kids.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Dis/content - more thoughts
I've been wrapping my thoughts around the things in my last post - dis/content - for months probably. Since I wrote about it the other day, I've been trying to articulate them, piece them together. The more I think about it, the more optimistic I feel, actually. In jumbled order, here's what I'm thinking...
---
From John - Be content, but not apathetic. Too often, we confuse contentment with indifferent stagnation. To be content is to be satisfied, but not emotion-less or ambition-less.
content - satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
apathetic - having or showing little or no emotion, not interested or concerned; indifferent or unresponsive
---
I have a dream. Actually, had one a few nights ago. I was facilitating a parenting class (?!) and this is what I told the parents. "Expect less of yourself, and more of your kids." Later when I was awake, "expect more of God" added on to that. Dad alluded to this thought in his comment - I need to make my expectations realistic, considering where I'm at in life, with little kids and a fledgling career.
---
Don't forget that I might be already realizing some of my dreams and ambitions - today! Dina wrote about this a while ago too. My dreams from a few years ago were to have a strong marriage, to be a mom, to excite my chemistry students about learning, to get to know my neighbors. I'm actually do all those, and pretty well! And more than any of my write a book or save the world dreams, I first and foremost want to live in love with John until death parts us. I don't want to let tomorrow's dreams cloud the fact that I'm living many dreams today, and it takes a lot of work and ambition to do the wife, mom, teacher thing.
---
Maybe just "being" today is preparing me, or someone else, for living those dreams. If I were to write a book someday, or teach teachers, the years of experience now are imperative. I don't really have much to say yet. I can begin to live my ambitions without even leaving today's usual work/play. I might even discover that my dreams change as I am just being. Or maybe I'm not the one meant to realize the dreams anyway. Maybe it's my kids, my students, my husband. By being the mom, teacher, wife today that they need, they can be the one to change the world. Don't let it be just about me...
---
The balance is still plenty foggy to me. But maybe I'm onto a content path to ambition. Or an ambitious path to contentment.
---
From John - Be content, but not apathetic. Too often, we confuse contentment with indifferent stagnation. To be content is to be satisfied, but not emotion-less or ambition-less.
content - satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
apathetic - having or showing little or no emotion, not interested or concerned; indifferent or unresponsive
---
I have a dream. Actually, had one a few nights ago. I was facilitating a parenting class (?!) and this is what I told the parents. "Expect less of yourself, and more of your kids." Later when I was awake, "expect more of God" added on to that. Dad alluded to this thought in his comment - I need to make my expectations realistic, considering where I'm at in life, with little kids and a fledgling career.
---
Don't forget that I might be already realizing some of my dreams and ambitions - today! Dina wrote about this a while ago too. My dreams from a few years ago were to have a strong marriage, to be a mom, to excite my chemistry students about learning, to get to know my neighbors. I'm actually do all those, and pretty well! And more than any of my write a book or save the world dreams, I first and foremost want to live in love with John until death parts us. I don't want to let tomorrow's dreams cloud the fact that I'm living many dreams today, and it takes a lot of work and ambition to do the wife, mom, teacher thing.
---
Maybe just "being" today is preparing me, or someone else, for living those dreams. If I were to write a book someday, or teach teachers, the years of experience now are imperative. I don't really have much to say yet. I can begin to live my ambitions without even leaving today's usual work/play. I might even discover that my dreams change as I am just being. Or maybe I'm not the one meant to realize the dreams anyway. Maybe it's my kids, my students, my husband. By being the mom, teacher, wife today that they need, they can be the one to change the world. Don't let it be just about me...
---
The balance is still plenty foggy to me. But maybe I'm onto a content path to ambition. Or an ambitious path to contentment.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
'Tis the season...
...to go a little crazy!
For as much as 10 months out of the year, I mostly love my stay-at-home mom mixed with college teacher lifestyle. But, let me tell you, it's not all as glamorous as you might think.
Every March, I get a nifty little paper in my mailbox at work asking what I would like to teach during the summer and the fall. It sends me into a tailspin of planning, worrying, dreaming. As if I know what will be going on around my family in December!! On top of that, us part-time teachers don't find out what we're teaching in August until, say, the week before school starts. Every year. So why I must be pressured to decide now, I don't know.
You'd be surprised how many things come into play for this decision every single year. John laughs at me because I agonize over the same variables, every single year. What do I have time for? What classes are available? Who will watch the kids, or get them to school? Will we still be able to afford health insurance? Will the taxes or time outweigh the benefits? Will we have another baby or not? Add onto that all that we are starting to plan and save towards John graduating in a year or so. I make a giant spreadsheet full of dollars, hours, classes, weighing each of a half-dozen options. March 2006. March 2007. March 2008. March 2009.xls is in full force.
March also happens to be the time of year that I'm mid-semester and trying to keep my students motivated. It's warming up outside, and I am attempting to be outside as much as possible, yet not get too worried that the fence needs to be painted and the siding power-washed. Summer vacation plans are shaping up (for those six glorious weeks I'm not teaching), and so googlemaps.com and ReserveAmerica.com (camping) are absorbing lots of online minutes.
It's a perfect storm.
So here I am ranting to myself. Why? 1) Just so you know the grass isn't really greener over here. 2) With so much going on, I wish I had more time to write. 20 minutes carved out today, finally. 3) At our house, uncertainty is complicated by the fact that is seems to give rise to dreams and possibilities. Good and bad, I guess.
As I pray for peace in the craziness, while still moving forward, two thoughts come to mind this week. Maybe you'll connect with them too, when your little world goes through jumbled crazy seasons.
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6-7
"A person is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." (from the green tea cap of the editor of Shape magazine)
I'll write again during the next 20 minute lull between spring storms!
For as much as 10 months out of the year, I mostly love my stay-at-home mom mixed with college teacher lifestyle. But, let me tell you, it's not all as glamorous as you might think.
Every March, I get a nifty little paper in my mailbox at work asking what I would like to teach during the summer and the fall. It sends me into a tailspin of planning, worrying, dreaming. As if I know what will be going on around my family in December!! On top of that, us part-time teachers don't find out what we're teaching in August until, say, the week before school starts. Every year. So why I must be pressured to decide now, I don't know.
You'd be surprised how many things come into play for this decision every single year. John laughs at me because I agonize over the same variables, every single year. What do I have time for? What classes are available? Who will watch the kids, or get them to school? Will we still be able to afford health insurance? Will the taxes or time outweigh the benefits? Will we have another baby or not? Add onto that all that we are starting to plan and save towards John graduating in a year or so. I make a giant spreadsheet full of dollars, hours, classes, weighing each of a half-dozen options. March 2006. March 2007. March 2008. March 2009.xls is in full force.
March also happens to be the time of year that I'm mid-semester and trying to keep my students motivated. It's warming up outside, and I am attempting to be outside as much as possible, yet not get too worried that the fence needs to be painted and the siding power-washed. Summer vacation plans are shaping up (for those six glorious weeks I'm not teaching), and so googlemaps.com and ReserveAmerica.com (camping) are absorbing lots of online minutes.
It's a perfect storm.
So here I am ranting to myself. Why? 1) Just so you know the grass isn't really greener over here. 2) With so much going on, I wish I had more time to write. 20 minutes carved out today, finally. 3) At our house, uncertainty is complicated by the fact that is seems to give rise to dreams and possibilities. Good and bad, I guess.
As I pray for peace in the craziness, while still moving forward, two thoughts come to mind this week. Maybe you'll connect with them too, when your little world goes through jumbled crazy seasons.
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6-7
"A person is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." (from the green tea cap of the editor of Shape magazine)
I'll write again during the next 20 minute lull between spring storms!
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