A little crisis is good for the house

My housekeeping style these days is purely crisis-driven. OK, to be more specific, my floors ONLY get cleaned when there is a crisis. Exceptions: when our house was the on the market last year, and when the lovely Jess babysat AND cleaned my floors for me three years ago!

Massive dry oatmeal spills (which my girls sneak for snacks?!) tell me when it's time to vacuum.

Wet spills tell me when it's time to mop. Between breakfast, showers, homework, and the bus coming this morning, the boys raided a giant jar of soap (nothing new) and spilled half of it all over the kitchen (new). By the time I got there, they'd slipped and scooted to the entry, spreading the love. Time for the bi-monthly appearance of my mop and bucket, and while I'm at it, I might as well throw the spatula in to scrape a dozen petried green beans off the dining room floor. Some months, I'm lucky enough that it's just a pitcher of water or juice that spills. This month, I guess we needed the extra cleaning power.

Oh, did I mention that the boys also got a bath out of our little crisis too? Baths are also purely dictated by crisis around here. Crises of sticky messes or incredible smells that is.

Yay for clean floors! However, I do truly hope that I don't have occasion to clean them until at least next month. I have been ignoring the little piles of oatmeal upstairs for a week though...

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update: Would you believe that I stepped in a new puddle of the very same soap when I bumbled downstairs to make bottles this morning? Apparently more fun was had while I was at work last night. And I'm the genius who put the soap right back where they destroyed it yesterday! No mop today, just a few towels. I chose to hunt down the oatmeal instead.

Shapin' it up this summer...

I subscribe to SHAPE magazine off and on, whenever they've got a $5/year type special going on. Mostly, I like the new workout ideas, but they also have pop culture in (very small) doses that I can handle. You know, two or three pages of beauty tips. Two or three pages of the cover celebrity's bio (the ones who have gotten fit after one, two, three kids are my absolute favorites!!). Two or three pages of fashion tips that I can almost copy and/or afford.

This month's issue came though, and provided little in the way of inspiration. I would have been disappointed, except that I found that nearly every single article had a title that could not have screamed more loudly: as for you, DO NOT try this at home!!! (if you are a sort-of-high-risk-pregnant-with-twins-mommy, that is.) The forty cent subscription was well worth the laughs I got just off the cover.

"Bikini body detox - beat belly bloat, drop pounds fast."
Doc's orders - second trimester - gain pounds fast for twins and deal with the nightly bloat. Oh yeah, and trade in the bikini for a tankini and hope it lasts at least half way through summer.

"Look 10 lbs. thinner. Instant tricks."
Dream on. Look 20 lbs. heavier by August. For the health of the babies!

"Sculpt every inch. Get flat abs, a toned butt and jiggle free arms."
Pad every inch with extra baby insulation. Kiss the abs and butt goodbye for at least a year.

"The best swimsuit for your body."
Maternity styles mysteriously omitted.

I seriously just cracked up reading these, and that was just the cover! Ahhhh, until, at last, I found the article hidden away at the bottom for pregnant girls like myself.

"PLUS! Tasty ice cream treats."
Now that's something I can do :).

Free for the asking, apparently.

I have a smudged up little white board in my kitchen, where I jot down a running list for next shopping trip. It's my valiant effort at not making 5 trips to the store every week.

Apparently, word got out. I always tell John, well, if you need chips for lunch, just write it on my board, and they will magically appear (once they go on sale!). He's got a request in for gin currently.

Well, Abby figured the system out the other night at dinner. I had her write PEZ up there a few days before, because I owed her some. But she jumped up and added to the list while we were eating on Wednesday. And added. And added. We just cracked up laughing. Fuzzy picture below...


On the one hand, it's nice that apparently everyone (you included now!) knows where to go to get stuff from me. On the other hand, maybe there's a reason that we don't always get what we ask for. If John did, we'd have liquor and Ruffles but no garlic with dinner. If Abby did, we'd have triplet babies, plus several cars, cans, puppys, and kittys.

Two great inventions that keep my life sane: "Sorry, not happening." And erasers.

Flat out cool!

I'm a bit of a tomboy. Yet I've always had long hair, maybe as much because it is easy to put it into a ponytail as it is to do fun "up-do's" with. A couple of months ago, I was in getting a semi-annual hair cut, and asked my stylist (again) for some much-needed style tips. Her first tip was - you've got to have a flat iron. Hmmm, I always thought those were for people with really curly hair who straightened it. Not for people like me, with a just-barely-obnoxious wave!

Well, I went out and got my first flat iron a month or so ago. It has changed my life! In about 5 minutes, I can now go from ponytail hair with a big crease in it, to smooth straight hair for an evening out. WOW. Why did I never know about this great new tool before?! The just-barely-obnoxious wave in my air-dried hair can actually be made to disappear for the first time in my life. If you have survived for 28 years like I did without a flat iron, it's time to give in and get one. In case you are like me, or are a boy and have no idea what a flat iron is, here you go:

Added bonus? This morning in our bathroom, I frantically got the last couple creases out of my hair and John smoothed the creases out of his un-ironed dress shirt. He glanced at my flat iron. Hey, he said, do you think that would work on the hem and buttons on my shirt? It worked beautifully. I'll iron my hair, but I guess I no longer have to iron his shirts! That's flat out cool.